The debate: Sex is the most important thing in a romantic relationship
Ok since I left NL, and came here there is one thing I miss. Which is of course a discussion, if you know me personally then you will know this to be true. So I want to discuss something with you people every week, that is if you are down of course. This will be the test run to see if you guys are down to participate in my little discussion. Ok so you read the title right, I believe that sex is the most important part in a romantic relationship.
So lets break it down why … first and foremost when you start dating someone everything is all sweet and games but then you CONSUMATE the relationship meaning you have sex. From that point on the relationship changes, meaning that sex is the turning point in almost any relationship. Now we all love sex and know that most people are obsessed with it and use to relieve stress, feel good about themselves or try to hide a pain from their past. Whatever the reason may be sex is important to people. But in a relationship it is key, once one party in the relationship is no longer interested in his or her partner then the sex usually stops.
Not always, some people just force it, which is even worse but ok. If the sex stops, the drive or urge to have sex usually does NOT stop. Which means they will start looking to fulfill their urges somewhere else, which then in turn gives birth to cheating. Which could END the relationship, meaning that sex can end a relationship. But if you take sex out of the picture, all you have are two people who hang out with each other and like each other, which to me just sounds like regular ass friends. So to sum it all up, if there is no sex in the relationship SOMETHING is wrong and it will die.
And just so you don’t get it twisted, Im not saying all that other stuff isn’t important like love and intimacy and all that jazz. Im just saying that when compared to sex those things don’t rank up there with the big boys. Now if you agree please tell me why, if you disagree inform us why you think I am wrong. I promise you guys I will respond to every comment in here unless it is addressed to someone else. Lets go.
one word: role playing!!:P
I used to agree, but since then have started to view sex more and more as an expression of love, intimacy and a feeling of connection. As a physical and instinctual way to communicate a higher concept. To me sex is more a symptom than a cause. If the sex is fading from a relation I believe it’s a hint of something else going wrong in your relationship. Maybe mutual understanding is waning, or honest communication is lacking. The connection breaking up.
For me the search for and focus on sex among people is at a deeper level not about the physical gratification, because you can get that on your own, but about the search for a connection. A search for someone to share an experience with, a way to break through a sense of solitude everybody feels deep down inside but most people refuse to acknowledge. So we fool ourselves and go for the physical attractive ones, believing it’s pleasure we seek.
But then i’m a girl.
To conclude: Sex is not the most important thing in a romantic relationship, but the most visible sign of a romantic connection.
Ok so Tialda, first and foremost thank you for the response. Now I read your msg, and I cant really say you disagree with me, because you believe that sex is the pinnacle of everything that builds a relationship. So sex becomes a tool/method to show your affection to one another. I get that, I do.
But the last part of your message, I cant really get into it because as a dude I have a totally different view on that. But that is another discussion for another time. BUT I will say this, physical gratification by yourself is 99% of the time not as fulfilling as doing it with someone else.
And if people are really trying to break through the solitude they feel deep down, by using sex isnt it safe to say that if they dont get sex they will feel less than what they want to. Meaning that for them sex is the key to feeling wanted?
(I have seen this happen more than a few times)
HWered my comment go ..I said 1 word ..role playing
so Adigun let me get this straight, roleplaying fixes everything???