I F*cking hate Japan
Ok so I was on my way to Tokyo to party and stuff. Because its been awhile since the boy had some fun, so I figured I deserved a little treat. Problem is though, its Friday and work gets tiresome, so I was tired. But being the stubborn dude I am, I still got dressed and smelled all good, and took the subway for like 30 minutes. After which I decided I was too tired to go on, so I went back home. Ok so I get home, I open the door. Do my usual check up to see/make sure there are no monsters around. Yes I am still scared, so no monsters once again Im still feeling good.
Then all of a sudden OUT of fawking nowhere a little piece of shit monster crawls out into the light shocking the SHIT out of me. So of course I freeze up, looking at him with my fists clenched as IF I would ever touch one of them. Then I grab my gas gun to kill the bitch, so I hold my gun and spray the fucker. And would you BELIEVE IT, in the corner of my eyes I spot ANOTHER motherfucker crawling on the side of my kitchensink, and this was a medium one. Not a full blown Im gonna move back to NL monster, but a medium I hate Japan monster. So I started spraying HIS ass with the gun, now while Im standing there in gas, spraying these little bastards until Im sure they are dead. You should know that these monsters, absorb the gas but keep moving for a few more seconds. So the medium one seemed to stop under my bathroom mat, which I keep out side of my bathroom, I wasn’t sure because he was UNDER the mat.
Of course the fire alarm went off because I released me a BUNCH of gas kill these 2 fawkers. So I went to unplug the fire alarm and once I did … you would NOT believe it but there was a BABY monster on the wall. So I shot his ass with the gun as well, which THEN made it into: I FAWKING HATE JAPAN. So now I had to make sure that I killed the medium monster, by lifting up the mat. Yes I was scared, YES I didnt want to do it, YES my hand was shaking, YES I wanted to just call it a day and leave it be. But being a REAL man, I lifted that mat up, and wouldnt you know it … that medium monster got stuck in a crevice of the mat, so when I lifted it up, I lifted HIM up as well, and then he fell out and kind of touched my sock (which means he kind of touched me). I released me a manly yell, not scream I said yell, and then went on to curse and spray this dead monster some more. Yes, it was at that time my feelings became worse … Japan …
Where else could I come home, to see a dad taking his little monsters out for a stroll in MY freaking house. I am telling you, Im close to coming home people … I do NOT like this, I am once more REALLY and I do mean REALLY afraid to come home, and sleep here and just be here. I hate Japan for doing this to me. I was going to release another song, but then this happened and now Im all startled, and well Im scared to go to sleep.
Yeah there you go, that’s it. Im going to try to crash … I might sleep with the lights on for the first time in 15+ years.
Im so sad … I hate Japan