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Story: False Hope

Story: False Hope

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It was always in the back of my mind
A suspicion, I couldn’t leave behind
It whispered to me at 2 in the night
When her side of the room suddenly filled with light
Her phone, was always so damn bright
But at the time it wasn’t worth the fight
We have our issues, but we talk
We both did things that left their mark
But through it all we stayed together
Every day we tried to be better
But lately, this weird feeling scratches my heart
It’s as if, unspoken words are keeping us apart
I figured marriage could be the key
Saved up for a ring, spent all my money
Yet this feeling … this shadow I can’t see
It’s at the bottom of my stomach, driving me crazy
She got new outfits for an old job
Wearing lingerie fit for a different job
But they weren’t for me
Never did I feel so uneasy
The lipstick, the earrings and her “do me” fragrance
Looking in the mirror, smiling at an unknown presence
I had my doubts, suspicions, fear
But now my soul is completely clear
It was a Saturday morning
Told her I would be back in the evening
Went to go get what I needed, today was the day
Something told me “call her to say, that you’re on your way”
With a smile on my face and the ring in my hand
She picked up and then I heard a sneeze from another man
Rage hung up the phone, pain told me to go back
Crazy kept me pumped up, love decided to cut me some slack
I’d be back home in 10 minutes, there will be hell to pay
If there is any proof of infidelity, this will be a bad day

He rushes, she rushes, but it’s not what you think
He is scared, she is anxious, but it’s not what you think
Staring out the window, holding his tears back with all his might
The moment they meet everything will come to light

 

 

Story: It was here

Grassprieten_02

It was the month of May, it was a rainy day
Hiding beneath her umbrella, with a smile on her face
Staring at the sky, as if the rain was out of place
All alone in an empty field, looking at nothing but rain
Without a word being said, I understood she was in pain
The gentleman in me, approached her with caution
To see if I could lighten the burden with idle conversation
As she turned to face me, time stopped and it all went black
For a moment, there was only her, but then time found its way back
We spoke about the weather, the rain and its beauty
All the while, I was thinking “she was it for me”
We played the game accordingly, a solid foundation was set
We both knew, this was a chance at love, most never get
Our first anniversary, I took her right here
A romantic picnic, under a sky that was clear
We danced to the wind, caught in a moment of peace
As we kissed to a sunset, that we both hoped would never cease
Year in and year out, we came back to this one spot
We found happiness, both of us appreciated what we got
So in year 5, I waited for the sky to turn red
And as it did “I love you” was all I said
I placed the ring in the tall grass, and told her “you make me happy”
“Pick that up, and I will do the same for you for all eternity”
Without a moment of hesitation, she grabbed the ring
Said “YES” and it felt like moments after, we had the wedding
But thanks to wedding plans, work and the honeymoon
Dinner parties, movie times and prepping a baby room
We weren’t able to visit our favourite place
Life no longer wanted to move at our pace
We never had kids, she wasn’t able to
It was after that news, a nightmare came true
Lung cancer crept in her body and made it its home
There is no pain equal to the feeling of knowing you will be alone
Every moment I had, I was by her side
She engraved her last words in my soul, when she died
“I will be there, with a smile to sky, hiding in the rain”
“I will be there, asking the wind every day to whisper your name”
And then she smiled her last smile

Now every year I sit here, staring at a sky that refuses to rain
It was here that we met, and to me it was here that I lost her
Because only here, does the wind whisper HER name
I miss you

Story: It was here

Story: See Through

Sea Gipsy Village-1
Tim Bilman // VowTow.NL // Click on image for better quality

Maybe it’s the clouds that dance in the sky

Maybe it’s the wind, that if you listen close seems to cry

It could be the whispers of the people who were here before me

The awkward glances they throw, as if they hate me

All of that, makes it feel like home without the walls

The sound of waves, replaced the constant phone calls

Birds sing their song, as if to tell me they understand

That freedom is sometimes flying without the promise of land

It’s these see through waves, this see through sea

Love at first sight, captivated by its beauty

Where I am from, the water is muddy

The sky is dark, and silence is your enemy

But this is serenity

An escape from reality

The only explosion, I now hear are those of fish bombing

For some startling, for me it’s soothing

The only piece of nostalgia, I am allowed of a life lost

The damaged coral reef show the pain of each bomb tossed

The sea floor, resembles my mind, or rather my heart

I destroyed, for what I wanted to find, but it ripped me apart

To the point that I doubted every facet of my life

Where joy was only to be found inside of strife

Fish are their main source of food, so the means justify the end

Money was our goal, and to attain it, some rules had to bend

And those that played games with our money, rep or pride

Were taught lessons of integrity, honesty, not our fault some died

But each life my situation claimed, came to see me in my dreams

Not saying a word, simply watching in the dark surrounded by screams

With eyes burning for vengeance, a glare filled with hate

There is only so much a man can deny when faced with fate

That is why these see through waters are my new home

There are no lies hidden in the dark, here you see every stone

Forgiveness is given by a sea that doesn’t judge you

A sea that listen, without belittling you

Giving you a horizon you can aspire to

As everyday it covers you with a million possible things to do

This is the world as it should be

Not boxed into a corner where your only option is insanity

I had to reduce the numbers to ensure my safety

I had to turn my back, and burn down the family

It was the only way out, without betraying the old me

Sometimes flying without the promise of land is sanity

A killer, Psychopath, Mob boss, I was all of the above

I was told that I wasn’t able to love

But here, all that doesn’t matter, here, there is just me

Here they don’t like me, because I’m different from everybody

A simple reason to despise an outsider like me

But their hate, my past, my sanity, my dreams and everything else

Is nothing but a small price to pay, because now I sit in beauty

These see through waves, are it for me

Story: See Through