Focused on memory flashes of history
Passing me vividly leaving no empathy
My past is agony haunting me heavily,
This is my destiny that is what scares me.
So as each day passes I evade the masses,
Stay out their path, hope I have cast.
Away at last but despair amassed,
All alone with no home to call my own.
But my vicinity tells me similarity,
Of a despondency like me stands closely.
Death found me with ease there were no pleas,
Took among trees dropped to my knees.
Shot through the chest violently put to rest,
Murdered and dumped never reaching my crest.
Clearly not my choice but they silenced my voice,
The oldest of my dad his boys.
Picked to depict revenge for unpaid debts,
Kicked and hit to meet the rivers depths.
As I stare at the place where my mind and body lost their lace
Where I was lost without a trace I feel my pain shown in my face.
But no tear shall be shed for I am still dead,
I look for the things I never had and all the things I never said.
And at the same time my mind allows me to unwind,
Because all of a sudden I don’t feel so left behind.
As if something or someone finally feels my pain
Could the isolation be done could someone whisper my name.
Why am I back on this overpass did I not collect the brass,
Did I not leap am I to weak were my convictions to meek.
Or was it a dream a untold scene created by an unstable teen,
Yet I remember the feel of steel under my bare heel.
The sense of no control as I turn cold in deaths icy hold.
A broken heart I couldn’t bare as I glare and almost stare,
At a recollection so unfair pain and sorrow became a pair.
After three years of sacrifice and tears sharing secrets and fears,
Treating one another like peers stereotypes turn into seers.
He cheated on me with sum hussy,
Traded our love for a one night stand used a condom so it was planned,
My soul and heart now feel so damned rest from pain was all I demand.
But the boy with the light wasn’t here before,
And the urge to jump isn’t here anymore.
Wonder where he came from and why he is here,
He looks troubled and yet his eyes seem so clear
The light they carry is to find their way,
The burden they bear is their dismay. One new and one old,
Both their stories have been told.
Over and over they reiterate,
And always in the same place and state.
Yet I refuse to acknowledge it,
I know the bridge I do pass it.
But in my sleep they come and in my dreams they stay,
I know what I need to do but it doesn’t feel okay.
Ever since my suicide attempt this dream haunts me so,
As if their pain has found me and wants me to know.
That there is a place where my aid can be made useful,
But I don’t believe in spirits that is just truthful.
But they do need my help,
Amano the most,
But who would be crazy enough to help a ghost.