How many people have you slept with?

So How many people have you slept with? For some reason this question is asked in almost every relationship. How many people have you slept with? Is like a milestone you have to cross to get into the next level of being together. But How many people have you slept with? is a dangerous question. Because How many people have you slept with? Is a question that is capable of changing the entire relationship. Because the answer to this question, is one that shows how you were in the past and perhaps might still be. And if you exceed what your partner calls  a “good” number, you will change in their eyes. Because love has certain requirements and stipulations that are pretty fragile. But to be fair, often times that isn’t love, its just a very strong LIKE.

So the next time you ask someone “How many people have you slept with?” keep in mind that you are asking about their past. You are asking who they were, you are looking into what made them who they are. The beautiful thing about that, is that it allows you a glimpse of how much they have changed. If you can simply look past the initial number, you can appreciate who they are with a lot more conviction. But if you arent able to look past the number. If you arent able to get past their past, then please … please don’t ask “How many people have you slept with?”. The most dangerous thing would have to be the aspect of comparisons. Because a lot of people tend to use their own lives to judge someone else’s. Which is bad by itself, but when you do it with things like sex or sheer willingness to live, you can get some bad results. So if you do decide to ask “How many people have you slept with?” keep an open mind. Dont judge, just be happy that it made them who they are right now.

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