I have trouble giving up

I have this thing, lets call it a disease. Its similar to a virus that courses through my veins eating up all the bad blood I have in there. The name of this so called disease is “Stubbornness”. And thanks to this so called stubbornness I tend to get into situations where I have to tell myself “I have trouble giving up”. But thanks to this stubbornness I have been able to do some extraordinary things. Now mind you, thanks to my own weirdness I tend to look at these extraordinary things as just  things that anyone can do. To keep making sure that I can feel special, I have to outdo what I did. I have trouble giving up on being better than who I used to be. I have trouble giving up on dreaming, working towards a future where my life feels as it should be. My skin feels just a little bit tougher, but it still isn’t diamond plated, as I wish it would be.

So to sum it up for you I have trouble giving up.

The world would often tell me that I needed to reduce my aspirations. People would often tell me that I should lower my expectations. But, listening to others opinions reduces your chances of becoming something you want. Reaching for something with hands that have been burned by others reality will forever force you to try grasping your star with a fist. I love being stubborn, and I love telling myself that I can do better. That I can do more than what I am doing now. That I should do more than I am doing now. Because settling for what others did will only allow me to live the life others lead. Sometimes I want to run away from being myself. But then I tend myself that running away from me, will only bring me somewhere I cant help myself if I get in a jam. Yeah, Im pretty crazy, but that is all a part of not giving up on myself. Im weird … I know.

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