I had to kill him

Picture me sitting in front of a judge and jury and telling them my side of the story. This is what my confession would sound like. This are the words that I would use to convince those who would judge me that I had no other choice. So that when I say “I had to kill him” they will nod their head and say “yes, you did”. This poem was a very simple one, due to the fact that I am seriously going through it. And I am seriously thinking about creating a situation in which I can say “I had to kill him”.

Pretty soon I will say “I had to kill him”.

Now, in case you missed it, this poem is about “routine”. This poem is about living inside this safe little bubble that keeps you secure and away from everything that might be harmful. But on the flip side it also cages you into this jail cell called “the same thing everyday”. And I am not one for the same thing over and over. It slowly kills my souls. It slowly drowns every bit of my being with the same old routine. Days feel like a repeat of a previous day. Everything that happens can be predicted due to the fact that its the EXACT same as last time.

I had to kill him. People often tend to look at my life and feel a certain way. They tend to say that my life seems like a lot of fun. But the thing is … I make it fun. And I make it fun by killing him from time to time. Whenever I notice that he has a grasp on me that is killing my spirit. I have to retaliate by killing him. I have to restructure my life so that its fun. I have to pop my bubble so I can challenge myself again.

So far, I had to kill him a few times. But this asswipe is as stubborn as they come. He always find a way to make me feel a certain way. Make me feel like this might just be the safest option. And maybe its time for me to be like the rest. Just writing this stuff makes me want to kill him.

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