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perhaps Im not made for the light

Perhaps Im not made for the light

 Perhaps I’m not made for the light

Not everyone wants to be in the spotlight, not everyone craves that kind of attention. I am pretty used to the darkness called anonymity and the freedom it allows me. The biggest issue I have with the light is the way people treat those who step into it. Your privacy is gone, your secrets are exposed and they will hate you for the fact that you tried and they didn’t. Yes, the hate is real. I’m a pretty down to earth kind of guy, so I’m ok with all the nonsense that might follow, but Perhaps I’m not made for the light.

Because with everything I’ve gone through to make it this far in life, I can tell you from experience that I don’t like people watching me too much. I don’t like being on stage, and I don’t like it when all eyes are on me. I’m a real introvert at heart so being in public places and being all friendly and stuff really takes it out of me. That’s why I’m thinking that Perhaps I’m not made for the light. When no one knows you, you can get away with doing all kinds of stuff. And I like that, it makes me happy.

So Perhaps I’m not made for the light.

Perhaps I was made to stay in the dark and let my work speak for itself. Have my pieces run ahead of me and touch all the hearts they can. That could very possibly be the best thing for a writer like me. The issue with that is that people like to see who they are listening to, or who they are reading. That is why I started performing, that is why I’m doing all these videos. Because doing what you love is a lot more important than being in the light. But being in the light will allow you to do what you love. Do you feel the pain of the contradiction I’m in? Sometimes it’s hard being me, but it’s never boring, I can tell you that much right now!

If you liked Perhaps Im not made for the light I am sure you will like my book as well. Make sure you buy a copy and let me know what you think of it.

Fool for you

I’m a fool for you

Fool for you

This piece is based on the song by Cee Lo Green – Fool for you. Love has been known to drive some people insane. It’s also rather infamous for rendering some folks blind. But most of the times, if it’s the real deal, it just makes you stupid. Well not necessarily stupid but instead it should be called oblivious to the truths that might be right in front of you. I’m talking about forgiving the unforgivable because you hope that your love is strong enough to heal the wounds.

Where you push through bitter reality in the hopes that, that old warm feeling you had in the beginning will come back. For the lucky few of you this is actually the case. They are the ones who can spend their time just being in love and don’t have it diminish over time. These lucky few are the ones whose love is strong enough to make it through the storms called hardships. These lucky few are the ones who can actually say to their significant other “I’m a fool for you”.

But to be able to say “I’m a fool for you” is something special.

It means that you admit that you are completely in love with your partner. It means that you just want to spend all your time with them. That you don’t care how it might come across, you just want to be with them. You want to be next to them, under them, beside them or in front of them. That is what this poem is based on. I was lucky enough to experience the chance to be in a state of in love where I could say “I’m a fool for you”. Of course my heart got broken, but that is why it’s a “FOOL” for you. But nevertheless I still crave for that chance to say it again. That one moment where I can just let go of all that pride I built up and just tell my significant other I’m a fool for you.

This is the latest in a long line of poems inspired by songs. If you like it make sure to buy my book. This one is meant to make you feel happy.

They don’t know about us

They don’t know about us

They don’t know about us

They don’t know about us is a piece based on the song from Jon B. It’s about how other people tend to have an opinion on a relationship they aren’t in. And often that relationship gets damaged due to their opinion. And their opinion is often based on their own experiences and their own fears and flaws. This seems rather unfair because some relationships are actually good, but they can seem bad because of other people’s feedback. You have to hate that. Because jealousy and envy are a real thing when it comes to other people’s happiness. It’s so prevalent in today’s society that we even came up with a word for it “haters”. They don’t know about us addresses those exact same haters and how they tend to ruin or try to ruin a relationship.

Tell those haters “They don’t know about us”.

The most dangerous thing about those haters and what they say is that they often prey on a fear that’s already there. They often want to scratch at any wound they can find to open it up and thus have the relationship fall apart. And then when it falls apart they can just act as if they knew from the start that it wasn’t going to work. That they knew from the start that the relationship was a bad one.

That’s why you have to tell your significant other that they shouldn’t be listening to their so-called friends too much. But then again, you shouldn’t have to tell your partner anything because they should just trust you from the beginning. But trust is a hard thing to give and it’s pretty darn fragile, to begin with, so having someone poke at it with a stick of insecurity will just shatter it. And with all that in mind, I wrote this piece. I have my fair share of haters, so I know what it feels like to have them try to bring bad energy into your life. Keep your life filled with positive energy, and keep moving forward.

If you liked this piece, I’m sure you will love this book as well.

Pass me over

Pass me over

Pass me over

By now you have noticed that I am rather serious about my “song” series. I love music for what it did for me and how it makes me feel. And there are a few songs that have immortalized themselves with me. And Anthony Hamilton – Pass me over is one of those songs. I am a huge fan of Anthony and the music he makes, but as with every artist, there are a few songs that just stick out. This song has been on my playlist, from the first time I heard it, and it never left. This song to me is about finding that inner peace and being happy with who and what you are.

So when you find your inner peace, tell negativity “Pass me over”.

I am a huge fan of sleep, and I love being at peace with who I am. I also love it when people leave me be, which might be due to the fact that I’m a real introvert at heart. But regardless of what the reason might be, I just want my happiness to stay with me. I just want that inner peace I fought so hard for, to stay by my side. And “Pass me over” captures that feeling perfectly. And I tried my best to mold that feeling into a piece I could give you guys.

So if you can relate to loving yourself, and being at peace with who you are, then this one is for you. Face the truth of yourself by accepting what you’ve been through and what you’re capable of. Never let alone disturb the tranquil waters you’ve spent all this time building. Just keep faith in yourself and keep working towards that dream everyone else tells you is impossible.

If you liked “Pass me over”, I am sure you will love the pieces in this book.

Can I hold you?

Can I hold you?

Can I hold you?

From time to time you find yourself in a position where you feel pretty uncomfortable. And any time you can ask the question “Can I hold you?” is probably one of those times. And it’s in times like this that you want to just take the easy way out and wait till the moment passes. Some of us have issues with letting moments pass because we understand that moments never return. So you ask yourself “should I make a move?” The issue here is that if you do make a move, it can make the situation all the more awkward if you get rejected. And right then and there it’s up to you to decide how awkward you REALLY want to make it.

Because of the fact that most of us, after we get rejected tend to act rather childish to make up for the sense of shame. Luckily grown ass men can handle rejection a lot better than these young boys nowadays. Now that you have a sense of what I am talking about, let’s get down to the actual question being asked.

Can I hold you?

There is this stigma that friends have to maintain certain boundaries to maintain friends. I will say this, I agree. Because friendship often loses out to emotional attachments that are based on sex. But keeping that in mind, I feel that it should be possible to have a friendship based on mutual respect that allows for a certain amount of intimacy. I feel that it should be possible to say “Can I hold you?” without it leading to anything. “Can I hold you?” shouldn’t be leading to any kind of sexual activity, it should just be perceived as an invite to feel something more than distance.

Yet logic dictates that it is nothing more than a cheap come on. But sometimes, yes sometimes it simply means that a man wants to hold you. I know the myth is that our brain is on sex 90% of the time, but some of us have outgrown that mind state. Not all of us, so be careful out there.

If you liked this piece, I am sure that you will love my book filled with poetry as well.

The Tyranny of an empty room

The Tyranny of an empty room

The Tyranny of an empty room

Sometimes the darkness is heavy. Life can keep you in the dark because it feels like you should be there for a bit. And if you’re alone for too long, sometimes the silence can get pretty loud. And sometimes the sheer loneliness can be really heavy. And it’s at that moment that you can experience The Tyranny of an empty room. Some people try to act as if they don’t feel the tyranny or try to hide the tyranny behind Facebook posts. Some people try to drown the tyranny in alcohol and others just find company so they can break the silence. But for some of us, we have to just deal with it as it comes. We just have to listen to the words that bounce back from the walls that surround us.

And that’s where The Tyranny of an empty room was born. I’m alone for a LOT of my days, and with that comes the acceptance that I am alone. Yet sometimes that acceptance can fall, falter or damn near even break. And whenever I talk to people, they tend to tell me the same things. We all go through the same things. The Tyranny of an empty room isn’t something that is unique to one of us. Feeling alone is a universal emotion, but how people handle it is what is often different.

So how can you battle The Tyranny of an empty room?

Accept the fact that you are alone and simple accept that the room is empty. That would be the first step, because with that understanding you can work on accepting why you’re alone. Most people tend to think that being alone is really bad/sad. But being alone in my opinion is pretty damn healthy. Just don’t take it to the extreme and make sure you’re being alone for the right reasons. And don’t just settle for anything that could help break the loneliness. Just be OK with being alone, try being OK with yourself and try loving yourself. That will help reduce the tyranny you experience, or at least minimize the times you feel it. But that’s just my opinion.

This piece was one of the few that didn’t make it to my book, you can get by clicking HERE.

Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!)

Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!)

Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!)

This was originally a poem that was just meant for the site. But sometimes, some poems deserve more than just being words on a screen. Sometimes they deserve a full blown video to make you feel it a bit better. Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!) is more for me than for you. Because at times I feel like I am slacking off more than I should. I feel like I am using games and watching stuff is a mere escape from the responsibilities I placed on myself. So to make sure I get back to what I need to do, I wrote down some very simple words. And those words were:

“Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!).”

It sounds very simple, but not giving up is freaking hard to do. Because comfort is so damn tempting due to the fact it feels so damn good. And the amount of excuses you can make to NOT do something is astounding. While the reasons to do something are often in the single digits. And that’s why I requested a “Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!) from my motivation and dedication. And it’s super slow, but they are definitely still there working on making sure my mind and spirit stay up. It isn’t easy, its far from easy, but in my mind it feels like it’s worth it. Creating things you can look back at, is a great feeling.

Stacking your accomplishments through the year and then having that year end is freaking amazing. Because once you look back at all you’ve done, you can feel at ease that you didn’t just waste that year doing nothing but menial tasks for money. And that’s why I needed my motivation to give me this. That’s why I requested my inspiration to sit down and write this.

If you liked Hostile Takeover (Never Give Up!) I am sure you will like these poems as well. 

I have to say this (Dirty 30)

I have to say this (Dirty 30)

This video will be the only video that will have 2 versions. This is the raw version which has just me. And there will be another version, which will have the person I wrote this for intertwined into the video. Yes, I wrote this video for a friend of mine. She reached that 3o mark, and she felt a certain way. And she asked me if I could write a piece about how she felt. This required me to translate feelings into words. And I like doing that, but when they are not my feelings it’s even more fun, because its a real challenge. And that is why “I have to say this (Dirty 30)” was made.

I remember when I hit 30. It was just a regular day, because for me birthdays don’t really matter all that much. But for some people those numbers still matter. I lost the ability to care, when I asked my age to stop at 25 and it kept going. Luckily I set my goals accordingly, thus allowing me to reach them if I just work hard enough. And I never set goals that I feel aren’t meant for me. And that is why this was a challenge. Because now I had to step in someone else’s shoes and feel what they felt. And try to understand the frustration that comes with those feelings.

We all have dreams and hopes residing in our hearts.

And it’s those exact same dreams that allow some to push on and others to complain about what they don’t have. This poem was one of frustrations. This poem was one of pain, rage and sadness. This poem was born on the shore of where dreams crash. I have to say this (Dirty 30) is a poem written for one, but meant for all. If you feel a certain way because you’ve reached a certain age but don’t have what you feel you should have. This one is for you.

If you like “I have to say this (Dirty 30)” then I am sure you will like this book as well. 

I had to kill him

I had to kill him

I had to kill him

Picture me sitting in front of a judge and jury and telling them my side of the story. This is what my confession would sound like. This are the words that I would use to convince those who would judge me that I had no other choice. So that when I say “I had to kill him” they will nod their head and say “yes, you did”. This poem was a very simple one, due to the fact that I am seriously going through it. And I am seriously thinking about creating a situation in which I can say “I had to kill him”.

Pretty soon I will say “I had to kill him”.

Now, in case you missed it, this poem is about “routine”. This poem is about living inside this safe little bubble that keeps you secure and away from everything that might be harmful. But on the flip side it also cages you into this jail cell called “the same thing everyday”. And I am not one for the same thing over and over. It slowly kills my souls. It slowly drowns every bit of my being with the same old routine. Days feel like a repeat of a previous day. Everything that happens can be predicted due to the fact that its the EXACT same as last time.

I had to kill him. People often tend to look at my life and feel a certain way. They tend to say that my life seems like a lot of fun. But the thing is … I make it fun. And I make it fun by killing him from time to time. Whenever I notice that he has a grasp on me that is killing my spirit. I have to retaliate by killing him. I have to restructure my life so that its fun. I have to pop my bubble so I can challenge myself again.

So far, I had to kill him a few times. But this asswipe is as stubborn as they come. He always find a way to make me feel a certain way. Make me feel like this might just be the safest option. And maybe its time for me to be like the rest. Just writing this stuff makes me want to kill him.

If you liked I had to kill him I am sure you will love these hardcover poetry books. 

More than Anything!

More than Anything!

Have you ever thought to yourself that you just wanted to be normal. Normal in a way that would allow you to trust someone with all your heart and not be scared out of your wits. Wanting to hold someone and not have that feeling of despair that they might want to let go. I think might actually want that More than Anything! Not even the concept of having someone love me, but me being able to love someone. Please dont get it twisted, Im not one of these people who just wants to love for the sake of loving. I want to love, because I feel that experiencing something that deep will allow me to grow as a person. Plus having someone love you and being unable to answer those emotions is painful.

But perhaps, I should learn how to trust again. Ive had some vile and I do mean vile beings stain my trust. But if I learn how to trust, I will learn how to love and if I learn how to love I will learn how to trust. The two kind of come hand in hand. But yes, I indeed want someone I can call mine and not have that urge to be single pop up to such a degree I actually listen.

I want to be able to love … More than Anything!

In case you missed it, this poem is based on the song “Rudimental – More than anything”. I loved this song from the moment I heard it. The whole concept of wanting to love but being unable to, is something most of us should be able to relate to. As with all my poems, it was inspired by something and created with a heart willing to listen.

If you liked this piece, I am sure you will love this collection of poems as well. 

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