One step away

One step away from the edge
My eyes are closed
The darkness has always been a friend
The world dwells in empty synonyms
My untitled emotions are engulfed by protruding contradictions that never found a residence to sleep
My soul forever aching as it craves silence
My mind weary spread thin over years of trying
The fighters arms heavy from swinging
The blade rusty from the blood of has shed
The shield cracked from the advances it had to repel
With armor carved out of wood that was gilded with false gold
Clouds that eternally spell storms but never let a single drop fall
The breeze as if Satan himself is breathing down your neck
Standing atop black grass because the sun never dared to show his smile
There are no hills no lakes no buildings just me
Standing in the dark ready to fight an enemy shrouded in darkness
I can’t seem him but I hear him breathe
I have been swinging for years in the hope to scratch him
Throwing stones in the hopes to hit him talking without expecting a response
Smiling in the hopes it will weaken this crippling fear
But I never win and he has yet to touch me
But I came close to losing a few times all because I crave silence
All because the pressure of standing in the dark is too heavy
To have company forsake you
To have fellow soldiers give up and be gobbled up by the dark
This is the world I stand in
This is what the inside of my mind looks like
Tired … Well rested but exhausted
Slowly everything is losing its value
Crave an escape where I can lose myself
Drop the mask and look in the mirror and feel at ease
Or just close my eyes and sleep till I wake up someone else
My legs are giving out … My heart is starting to beat slower
I’m losing myself once more
Can’t count the amount of times I have stood here
In this game you don’t win but you cant afford to lose
But I’m close to giving up … Call it a cop out call me a coward
But I am tired
So tired
Sleep doesn’t help anymore
Work is but a distraction
My pain is the only constant I can’t change
My dark is the only friend I can’t take distance from
I am lost inside of me
I don’t need help … I need to wake up
I need to feel the rain … Let it wash away … Everything
I’m so tired


This one is for those who feel like me.