It was after number 23

That was the first shot, since then, I did alone
Goosebumps ran through my bone
What an exciting feeling to do that alone, after so long
You always told me that firing by myself was wrong
I don’t think you was right
Alone in the dark, the spark of the muzzle your only light
Few things can measure up to that
The adrenaline rush alone is like my body is on crack
But given, when I was with you other aspects of shooting were more fun
But you’re not here anymore, so that part is done
That was shot 2 and that bullet went near your feet
I’m in total control when I am holding this heat
You can’t nag, you can’t tell me what to do
You can’t make me feel bad, just because I shot before you
That spark and flash is the only time I still see your face
So you can’t blame me for my aim being a little off, little out of place
I’m out of practice, it’s been awhile
I’m about to shoot again, how about this time you give me a smile
The kickback kind of hurts my trigger finger
But I don’t want to see your face anymore, don’t want it to linger
That’s why I tied you up, so you can’t escape
The rules of firing, either shoot someone you love or someone you hate
Try to keep friends out of it, and you’re not a friend of mine
You’re nothing more than a damn memory I have to leave behind
Bang, Bang
That one hit your leg, I’m getting closer
Aw here we go with the hypothetical “maybe it aint over”
Listen, this is on you, just take your medicine, swallow it whole
Don’t spit it out, that will dirty up your soul
Bang, Bang, Bang
Look I hit your thigh, you’re really about to die
But I can’t have you coming back, it will be like some weird zombie attack
Where I relapse and forget, cause you ate my brain or heart
Where I can’t keep logic and bullshit apart
No, I have to make sure that you die
What, you love me, bitch that’s a damn lie
Bang, Bang, Bang
That one hit your stomach and arm, were close to being through
What, you want me to forgive you
Let me think about it
Nah, I’m ok, if you asked me before I shot the first one, you might have a case
But now my emotions left without a trace
And I’m just busting till I feel something
Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang
That last one hit your heart, does it hurt, because that’s how I felt
Watching everything you love come crashing down and melt
Let me reload and put some lotion on
Because the next few shots are gonna get me ready to move on
My arms are steady and my legs relaxed
I’m about to let go of what had me so vexed
Delete it all, erase it all, unfriend it all
Won’t even pick up when you call
This is it
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
There is no more us, there is no more loving relationship
There is no more urge, even our so called past is now bullshit
Our forever lasted till goodbye
You’re not worth tears, so I found something instead of a good cry
And every shot was that exact thing
I killed you, by masturbating

This was a piece that was given to me as a concept by a artistic friend of mine. She had this idea for a painting, and wanted to see if what I would write would be similar to what she went through. And the concept of killing someone by masturbating is just FUN! Because its something that happens in a way, but no one talks about it. And I didnt want to create a really beautiful piece, where I describe every little emotion with fancy words and euphoric sounding sentences. I wanted to bring this one back to Vino Venitas, so I had to make it dark. I had to make it a bit morbid, so it would fit the writer I am. And that is how I came with the story called It was after number 23. Because in this story it took the person 23 times to get passed the memories. It was after number 23 is the one that will make you smile or shake your head. I also did this It was after number 23 at an event, as my spoken word piece. It didnt go as smooth as some of my other pieces with regards to it being understood and felt. But it was still fun to do it, regardless. Because sometime you have to challenge yourself. And that is what “It was after number 23” was for me. And if you liked this piece I am certain there is more for you to like.

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