Poem: The first time

Im trying
The sky never really seemed to break up
The sun never wanted to show up
The innocence of a sentence is lost as soon as it is tossed
In the pit from which I speak, I am far from weak
But strong I’m not, determination I got but I have weak spot
It is intertwined with emotion a friendly potion from which I sip
After which I forget that friendship is a remedy for lonely
But for me the cure is absolutely unnecessary
Nevertheless, I got to keep moving forward
Because she loves me she needs me but honestly it’s scary
The way she depends on me loves me unconditionally
Forgives my faults even though she keeps complaining
At times I don’t pay attention to what it is she is saying
Because I know, that no matter how slow
We will once again grow past this nonsense
Our fight will be past tense and we will utter a white flag sentence
I love you, yeah I love you too
And I say it, and I know I do
But not to the extent to where she dwells
She actually visits hell, when I forget to kiss her goodnight
Forget to call her, or tell her I miss her, all these reasons could be cause for a fight
She firmly believes that my time is best spend with her
Any other logic will not occur, nor concur
So I sit
To conjure up a strategy, a fantasy to romantically sweep her off her feet
Place my finger on her lips, don’t speak, but bask in the ambiance
Let yourself get carried away, by white wings attached to a display
Omitted by words I can’t say so as I sit I think this is OK
But all these thoughts are for naught because not a single flower has been bought
Not a single kiss has been brought to her lips that would tantalize her spine
To let her know that she is mine
So now I have lost her as well
And now I find myself in hell
Nevertheless, I got to keep moving forward
Because the present moves with a pace that will deface
Any case brought before it posthaste
Be it future or past it will cast a spell so enticing
Any hope I had will sing a song of defeat
My heart is weak, but my mind is strong
My actions are righteous my words are wrong
A walking contradiction a cause with no conviction
An elaborate fantasy lacking fiction
I can see why they do not want me
Could be my honesty or just my insanity
I’m withholding a message cause I know you’re not listening
You hear the words but you’re not listening
This is for the world to see
How twisted it has made me
Nevertheless, I got to keep moving forward
So I will