They are out to kill me … I know it

Ok so I figured something out, and I swear to you, you would NOT believe it. But these cute little kids, these adorable little critters are out to kill me. They are out for my blood, they want to make my heart stop beating. They are trying to kill me, I swear to you. Now do you want to know the method with which they are trying to kill me? Their method is this:

MAKE ME KILL MYSELF, PLAYING WITH THEM.

Yes it sounds sweet and innocent, and maybe even adorable. But I swear to you, it is NOT. I’m standing there sweating my ass off. I’m standing there breathing heavy, I’m standing there holding my chest. I’m standing there holding my arm because my arm still hurts. I’m standing there sweating through my T-shirt, and getting my nice work shirt wet. I’m TELLING them, I’m tired, I’m TELLING them I’m hurt, I’m TELLING them I need a break … but do they listen ???

HELLS NO, they don’t listen to a word I say. They don’t pay attention to my body language, they just do NOT care about the boy. All they want is for me to lift them up, to react when they hit me (and people they hit me A LOT, because when they do I react in a funny way.) or to push them on the swings. OR to spin them around in that metal like cage thingy. I am telling you, playing with kids has NEVER felt so dangerous, I am close to dying out here. And the only concern I have is that I don’t want to stop playing with these kids. I think I’m addicted to making these kids smile. I’m such a slut aren’t I.

But yeah, I don’t have any pictures, or anything else. This isn’t even a real blog. I just wanted you guys to know, that if I die, it’s because of these kids. Know that I will die with a smile, because well these kids make me smile. But I will be dead nonetheless.

Yes, that is it, that is all I wanted to say. These kids are still freaking awesome. Oh yeah on a side note, the possibility of Vino Venitas moving to Tokyo has just increased by 20%. So cross your thumbs, and say your Hail Mary’s, or whatever it is you do to help me get this job. And let’s get this job, so we can move to Tokyo.

Vino Venitas